Hello, Moron
I read an article on Yahoo this morning about this genius named Timothy Treadwell who got mauled and partially eaten by a grizzly bear. Why? Because he thought it would be cool to "live among them." Here's another article. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/142982_bearattack08.html
OK, for starters, look at the grizzly bear's Latin handle. Ursus arctos horribilis. Horribilis, for crying out loud. This gentleman went on a talk show and referred to the grizzly as a "harmless party animal." Apparently not. This is what happens when you let Australian people wander around in our forests. What in heck do they know about bears? Kangaroos, maybe. Wallabees. Pygmies. But not bears.
That would be like me saying I was going to live on a raft off the Great Barrier Reef and swim with the great white sharks.
That guy deserved to be grizzly chow.
OK, for starters, look at the grizzly bear's Latin handle. Ursus arctos horribilis. Horribilis, for crying out loud. This gentleman went on a talk show and referred to the grizzly as a "harmless party animal." Apparently not. This is what happens when you let Australian people wander around in our forests. What in heck do they know about bears? Kangaroos, maybe. Wallabees. Pygmies. But not bears.
That would be like me saying I was going to live on a raft off the Great Barrier Reef and swim with the great white sharks.
That guy deserved to be grizzly chow.
posted by Anonymous at 7:41 AM
3 Comments:
This Jane Goodall of grizzly bears got this bright idea of habitating with 1-ton fowl-tempered, unpredictable carnivores after a drug overdose.
What could possibly motivate these grizzlies to kill this guy? Were they hungry? Nah, too simple. Plus he probably stank, which leads to this question. Could it have been this hippy’s bad hygiene? Even bears wash from time to time. Perhaps he was highly offensive to their heightened sense of smell? Maybe they did not appreciate having to sort through this guy’s mary jane plants when foraging for berries and nuts? Did he give the bears some bad acid, leading them to think he was a 6 foot tall turkey? Could it be that the bear was a Hawk, while this guy was a Dove and they were having a debate about war, and to prove a point about pacifism, the bear ate him? Who knows.
All I know is this, I wish more hippies would overdose and decide to form their own little bear commune in the woods. Around here we have bumper stickers that say “Don’t Feed the Bears, Keep Your Trash Secure” with a silhouette of a bear rummaging through a trash can. Well here is my bumper sticker: “Don’t feed the bears trash, when hippies are going to waste” with a silhouette of a bear mauling a hippy. That would rock.
Let me amend this to say that the bumper stickers read "Trash Kills Bears" but it should read "Trash Kills Bears, But Hippies Make Good Eatin'"
Turns out this jerk was from New York. Now I REALLY think he deserved to get eaten...
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